Sunday, January 14, 2007
Largest Spruce: New Candidate for Disaster Tourism
When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade. We will hate to see it fall, but there may as well be a silver lining. Disasters are big draws. Rubberneckers slow down traffic to pass accidents. Idiots hear tsunami warnings and rush to the beach for a better view.
We should do something like that for the Klootchy Creek spruce. Sell tickets to watch it. The Oregon Lottery could start a game; winner guesses when it falls. If it starts to go, it'll be even more of an attraction. Nobody would watch the Tower of Pisa if it weren't leaning, would they?
All this levity masks my deep dismay. I'm a tree-hugger at heart. I love the big ones. It will be a shame to see this one go.
When the spruce finally goes down, you could pulverize it and sell souvenir toothpicks for the next 100,000 years. Let's see, at 25 cents a pick...